you will never love him as much as i do.

I regret every mistake I made that pushed you away from me. I wasn't thinking, I was just being selfish. I'm sorry for hurting you in the past, I'm sorry for making you go through so much, I'm sorry for the dramatic nights I played with your feelings and made you cry, I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, but most of all, I'm sorry for making you think I didn't love you. Truth is, I'm living in my on little world with a regret that will haunt me for the rest of my life. You mean the world to me and I'm so thankful that you’re still by my side as my best friend. I wish it can be so much more than that but I know I will never have the courage to tell you my true feelings. I wish I can tell you how I feel but I can’t risk us being any different. You’re the one person I know that I truly love and I know no one will ever love you like I do. The way you make my heart skip a beat is unlike any thing I experienced on this earth. It beats like yours did that one day we lied in your bed, the day you said that only happened once. I don’t know why I can’t get over you; actually, that’s a lie. I do know why I can’t get over you. It’s the way you stand close to me when we walk side by side, it’s the way you look at me when we say goodbye to each other, it’s the way you always keep me smiling no matter what mood I’m in, it’s the way you make me feel when you say hello, It’s the way you stay up late with me doing nothing at all, It’s the way our goodbyes take almost an hour, it’s the way you treat me, it’s the way you laugh, it’s the way you never give up on me, it’s the way you smile. There are so many things about you that make me fall more in love with you but the main thing is, it’s the way you stay by my side through anything. I know we are meant to be, it’s just not our time yet. Even though your with her I know we will be together again one day and even though she loves you, she will never love you like I do.

new life.

Who knew it would end so early. I’m not happy with this decision, but I’m not sad. There’s something about this experience that warned me this would happen sooner or later. My feelings did fade away as I lied to my self more and more. I kept trying to make myself think that this would work out when really it had already ended and I knew it already ended; I just didn’t want to believe it just yet. I had a fun drive and no matter how much pain this past few years have put me through I will never regret it. I will never regret you. I fell in love and it was amazing. I experienced emotions I didn’t even know existed. I experienced times that made me a stronger person. I fell out of the love I was once in. From time to time you will pop up into my mind and I know it, I won’t deny it and yes from time to time I might miss you, but I know that I’m moving on, and I know that from this experience I became the strongest I’ve ever been in my life. I’m not denying that this hurts but I’m not saying I want you back. It was about time we carried on with our lives. I’m excited for the new life I have a head of me and I’m excited to wake up tomorrow and see what will happen next. I’m now a free person ready to live her life with no regrets and I’m proud of my self that I was mature enough to let you go. Forever seemed good but it wasn’t what I wanted. Now I have the rest of my life to make myself the person I want to be, to meet new people, to fall in love once again, to fight off the new challenges a head of me. I’m ready new life.